“You all changed, whereas I found out who I really am.”

In my opinion, ‘The Five’ is the strongest and most compelling episode of Sanctuary to-date. We’ve essentially got three separate stories, each giving us a much deeper insight into the characters and their history, particularly the mysterious Dr. Helen Magnus. Here we go.

In Plot A, Magnus is in Rome giving a lecture on abnormals when a mysterious man shows up with a note:

That man is none other than *drumroll, please* Nikola Tesla! Now, let me just confess right here and now that I am more than a little obsessed with Nikola Tesla. The real Nikola Tesla, that is, the criminally under-appreciated genius inventor and engineer who discovered the power of alternating currents (AC), and who more or less gave us robots, radar, and remote controls. So when Druitt derisively says that Tesla “leeched off Edison and cheated Marconi”, I literally laughed. out. loud.</geek>

Tesla is here in Rome to save Helen’s life, or so it seems. He tells Magnus that Cabal agents are all over the building and they’re searching for her. He leads her down into a system of catacombs beneath the city, and as the agents track them through the tunnels, Tesla flirts shamelessly and we get a little bit of history. Magnus and Tesla were friends, or at least close acquaintances, and she faked his death over 60 years ago so that his work could continue. Tesla has been in hiding ever since. After all, there was that little issue with the death ray… “I thought they’d all share and peace would break out. I did. I had my Nobel Speech all memorized.”

Oh, and did I mention that Tesla is a vampire?

“I vant to suck your blood.”

But despite Tesla’s confession of love for her, Magnus soons realizes he’s not there to save her life, because the Cabal aren’t after her – they’re after him. She can’t figure out why the Cabal would find one lone vampire so threatening, but that Tesla, he’s always up to something. He’s been turning Cabal agents into vampire zombies. Yes, you read that right.

VAMPIRE ZOMBIES.

“They’re fast, vicious, strong, but they’re dumb as tree stumps.”

I have to say that as much as I love the real Tesla, I am also loving Jonathon Young as this Tesla. He absolutely inhabits the role of a flamboyant and cocky genius who totally steals every scene that he is in.

This Tesla is FUN. But I guess there’s only so much that Magnus can take: after listening to Nikola monologue about world domination, she shoots him and runs off, vampire zombies in hot pursuit.

Meanwhile in Plot B…

Magnus has left Will in charge of the sanctuary (well, not really in charge) and now there’s an abnormal loose in the house, scratching up the walls and tearing up the electrical systems. “Maybe it’s lying in a corner somewhere licking its wounds.” “Problem is, there’s lots of corners in this place.” When the mysterious creature attacks the two-faced man, Will wants Henry to help him go through the surveillance footage. But Henry’s sick with a high fever, and the Big Guy orders him to rest, while Will and Biggie continue to track the creature.

They follow the trail of damage down into basement storage where they find some blood, more scratch marks and scattered bottles of Diazepam. Will believes that the creature may be after the drug, but can’t quite figure out why. “What kind of abnormal has the ferocity and power of a wild animal, combined with the cunning and intellect of a human?

“Other than, you know, you.”

Later on, the Big Guy brings Henry some soup in bed, and Will comes along to chat about their mystery guest. Will notes a cut on Henry’s leg and bottle of Diazepam on his bedside table. When he tries to question Henry, the Big Guy gets testy and tells Will to leave it alone. When Will tries to access Henry’s medical records, but can’t, he starts to suspect that Henry might be a shapeshifter. Clearly, all this time in the Sanctuary is rubbing off on him. But Henry really doesn’t appreciate the accusation.

And what should happen just moments later?

( ^ that right there is Indiana Jone’s worst nightmare)

Will gets chased down the Sanctuary halls by a giant snake with arms. As it’s about to rip his face off, a brown blur tackles the snake and both creatures tumble out of the second story window. As Will looks down at the figure on the lawn, it morphs back into Henry. Henry, it turns out, is a shapeshifter, just not the same one that’s been mangling the Sanctuary. The Big Guy tells Will that Henry didn’t want anyone to know.

The real shocker here is Henry’s body mod:

And in Plot C, Ashley has gone to meet up with her informant, Squid, but instead she’s ambushed by Druitt. He lives!

Bad. Ass.

He brings her to an attic of some sort, handcuffs her to a chair, and sits down to have a nice father-daughter chat. “I’m listening – let the insanity fly.” “Of course, that’s what you think of me: that I’m unstable, deranged.” “That’s pretty much what I call everybody that feeds me to lizard creatures. But I can be a bit harsh sometimes.”

Druitt decides to gives Ashley the real history of Dr. Helen Magnus. Back in their days at Oxford University, when John and Helen were still a happy little couple, they were a part of a group that called themselves ‘The Five’. Along with Druitt and Magnus, there was Nigel Griffin, James Watson and Nikola Tesla. Together they were dedicated to expanding their knowledge of the physical world, “by the most unconventional means”. And Magnus isn’t old by a quirk of her genetic structure. No, the Five got their hands on a bottle of ancient vampire blood and thought it might be a good idea to inject themselves with it.

I mean…why not?

The vampire blood affected them all in profound but very different ways. Magnus received the gift of a very long life, Druitt gained his ability to teleport, Nigel Griffin became the Invisible Man, James Watson grew even more massively intelligent and, thanks to dormant vampire genes from a far off ancestor, Tesla became a vampire.

After Druitt barely survived being poisoned by Magnus, he was found by Tesla. When Druitt refused to help Tesla with his VAMPIRE ZOMBIES, the vampire electrocuted him. Repeatedly. On the up side, those jolts of electricity more or less shock Druitt into sanity, which is why he’s able to come to Ashley and warn her that her mother is in danger. Tesla needs Helen’s help, but once the plan is complete, Druitt believes that Tesla will kill her.

Back in Rome, Tesla has stopped his minions from killing Magnus, they trade some verbal barbs, and then BAM! Druitt teleports his fist through Tesla’s stomach. Y-o-w-c-h. Druitt teleports Magnus and Ashley out of the tunnel, leaving mother and daughter to talk about their day. Ashley is, understandably, pretty ticked that her mom never told her about her father. But I don’t think she’ll stay mad for too long, do you?

Stray observations…

- Now that we’ve been given the history of The Five, I really want to know more about them. Will we get to meet Watson and the Invisible Man? Which leads me to…

- If Magnus’ gift is a long life, and Tesla has lived this long because he’s a vampire, then how is Druitt still alive? And is it possible that Watson and Griffin are still alive, too?

- Tesla is a vampire but, apparently, he doesn’t feed off of humans. Magnus asks him if he’s stopped taking his “medication”. Wonder what that is…

- Tesla has some kind of power of electricity, which fits perfectly with the real Tesla’s fascination with the subject. I also love the little detail of him cleaning his hands after every fight. The real Nikola Tesla was OCD, and afraid of germs.

- If Tesla can survive being impaled on a pike, he can live through a little fist in the tummy, right?

- LOVED Druitt teleporting to different parts of the world to make his point with Ashley. Very cool effect.

Hey, it’s that guy! – Astute viewers may recognize Jonathon Young from his two brief appearances on Stargate: Atlantis as Dr. Parrish, Botany Geek.

And Tesla wins all the quotes this week:

“Helen Magnus. Kiss me and I’ll save your life.”

“And if I don’t?”

“It’s been over 60 years. Just plant one on me already.”

“Nikola Tesla…You always did know how to get attention.”

“And you’re still as boring as ever when it comes to giving a lecture.”

“My God you look sexy with a gun.”

“Perfecting the use of electricity and radio waves? Hard act to follow.”

“When vampires ruled the earth, it was a golden age. Science, art, architecture, all advanced. And after they killed them off what happened?”

“The Dark Ages.”

“And now everybody thinks that we’re allergic to garlic and we can turn into bats at will. It’s beyond insulting.”

“We’ll have to fight our way out of here. No killings!”

“Said the woman with a gun to the vampire.”

Hannah’s Notes:

- Gosh, I love Tesla’s mustache.

Don’t we all.